Death

Apparently June hates life. MJ, Farrah, BILLY MAYS and Ed. The only one that gets to me, though, is the Master of Insomniacs. A freak accident. Tragic, really.

I feel like MJ has been dead since before I was born. He was not human.

Farrah had cancer. Sad, but not too sad. Lots of people die from cancer.

Ed was old. Old people die.

Also, June 28th was my dad's birthday. Of course, he didn't die in June, but the birthday thing just makes me think about him.

I wonder who the Academy Awards will forget in their annual montage of the corpsicles. We'll see.

Favorites

Favorite movie: Road to Perdition

Favorite dinner: Birthday dinner. Chicken Kiev, mashed taters, corn and a drink of my choosing.

Favorite place: Home

Favorite job: Paper route

Favorite show: Dexter

Favorite thing to argue about: Music

Favorite sport: Baseball

Favorite game: Apples to Apples

Favorite pastime: Soaking up information for random factoidal regurgitation and proving myself right

"Wear the old coat and buy the new book." - Austin Phelps

Long post time. All of these are graphic novels. I'm trying to win that bet with Alexa. It's looking good for me.

The Dark Tower: The Long Road Home. More about the childhood of Roland Deschain, the creation of Stephen King. This story was never written by Stephen King. It's an original story by the author of the Dark Tower concordance. It was fairly interesting. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who is unfamiliar with the tale of Roland, though. 4/5

All Star Superman, Vol. 1 and Vol. 2. After reading so many comics this past month the ones I read at the beginning are becoming a blur. This was an interesting, if short-lived, excursion into the life of Superman by one of today's preeminent comic book writers, Grant Morrison. It begins with a seemingly innocuous life-saving mission by Superman. He saves a scientific expedition from imminent death by way of running into the sun. This intense exposure to the suns yellow rays causes Superman's cells to explode. (Of course, everyone knows Superman gets his powers from the rays of a yellow sun.) This was all an ingenious plan by Lex Luthor. As Superman discovers that he is dying he sets off on his own version of the Twelve Labors of Hercules. It was a really interesting concept that felt a little rushed and incoherent at times. Even so, I really enjoyed it. The self-contained story arc definitely helped. You can jump right in and know what's going on; a must for successful graphic novels. 5/5

Batman: Year 100. This was horrible. The artwork was doo doo. The story was dense. The dialogue made me want to burn the book (good thing it belongs to the library). It's set in the future. Of course this future is totalitarian (always is, isn't it). Batman fights the fascists. Batman cracks some skulls. Batman has fake teeth to make him look more like a bat. Lame. Batman doesn't need fake teeth to scare people. 2/5

Batman: The Resurrection of Ra's al Ghul. Another one by Grant Morrison. I suppose I would expect more from him considering his work on Superman. The dialogue was cheesy. Apparently Batman has a son and his son SUCKS. He might be one of my mortal enemies. Ugh. Kind of hard to get through for that reason. The fact that the story of Ra's al Ghul is interesting definitely saved this one. 4/5

Green Arrow: Quiver. I had never read a Green Arrow comic before, but I may seek more after reading this one. Spoilers ahead. Just a warning. Green Arrow was killed at some point (not covered in the graphic novel). He comes back. But he has no soul. The soul of Oliver Queen (Green Arrow) decided to stay in Heaven. So the Green Arrow on Earth is merely a husk. A man involved in the occult plans to move his soul into the body of the Green Arrow husk. This one had me reading when I should have been sleeping for more than one night. It was just suspenseful and I found myself needing to know what the heck was going on. It was just great. 4/5

Eternals. Neil Gaiman took over the story of legendary comics writer Jack Kirby in this seven-part series. The Eternals were put on Earth as demi-gods by near-omnipotent aliens called the Celestials. The Eternals have helped shape humanity through the ages while fending off their foil race, the Deviants. An interesting concept in the hands of the ever-creative Neil Gaiman made for a very enjoyable read. It dealt with moral issues, deity issues and more. It made for some great ruminating for days after. 5/5

New Avengers: Illuminati. This one has Skrulls in it. Doesn't get much better than that. 5/5

Absolute Batman: The Long Halloween. Batman Begins and The Dark Knight were heavily influenced by this year-long comic run. That's all I have to say. 5/5

Absolute Kingdom Come. This three-part series takes place in the future. Superman has quit being a superhero and has isolated himself in his Fortress of Solitude. Batman runs Gotham's crimefighting unit of Bat-bots from his Batcave. The new breed of superheroes just blows up everyone and everything in their pursuit of bringing the "bad guys to justice." When Kansas is leveled by the Atom giving off all his nuclear power after being split open, Superman returns. There is a large conflict that results in many of today's and tomorrow's superheroes becoming dust. Fits my mold of doom and gloom. Loved it. 5/5

Something harmfuler and deadlier

A couple more mortal enemies.

Wet socks. I agree with Lieutenant Dan. "There is one item of G.I. gear that can be the difference between a live grunt and a dead grunt. Socks. Cushioned sole, O.D. green. Try and keep your feet dry. When we're out humpin', I want you boys to remember to change your socks whenever we stop. The Mekong will eat a grunts feet right off his legs."

Poison. It can kill me.

Rock'n'Roll McDonald's. Because they sell Quarter Pounders. They will put pounds on you.

Something harmful or deadly

I have many mortal enemies. Here are a few.

Amphibians. They are just plain disgusting. I have batrachophobia. It's real. I can't explain why I'm afraid of them, but I feel like I'll have a heart attack when I see one. I would post a picture but when I looked at them I freaked out.

Wind. It's like God. But it sucks. I would post a picture but I don't think you'd see it.

The sun (sometimes). It seems like the sun wants to kill me when I'm driving. Also, skin cancer.

I guarantee there are more. I'll post them when I remember them.

Life in general(ities)

Many things have happened in the last month that are blog-worthy. I'm just too lazy and haven't had the urge to write. (Story of my blog, I suppose). I got married, moved out of the house, got bedroom furniture, somehow hurt my back and my foot is getting better. Cleverness eludes me. Maybe it's fatigue, maybe it's laziness. Life is going pretty well. Work is okay and money isn't that much of an issue (which is always weighing on my mind). I can see my wife whenever I want to (almost) and I can just be with her without having to leave at night. It's pretty great.

Aside: I picked up my bass for the first time in about 3 weeks. My fingers don't work anymore. It's pretty disconcerting. More practice is needed.

I have a bet with Alexa right now. She claims I can't read the slew of comic books I've gotten from the library in the past few weeks before they're due. If I lose I have to take Lucy out and feed her in the morning and evening. If I win she has to do the dishes by herself for a week. I hope I win. I hate waking up in the morning and taking the dog out. And dog poop is not my friend.

Book of the month

Shame on me. I only read one book this month. And it wasn't even really a book. It was a graphic novel called The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger Born. It's basically a retelling of the Stephen King saga about Roland Deschain and his quest for the Dark Tower.

The comic book format was interesting because I've already read the actual novels. The artists renditions of the characters didn't exactly fit what I imagined them to be, but it gave an intriguing perspective.

The series is going in chronological order starting in Roland's childhood. The novels were in no way chronological. Yet another interesting perspective. Reading this comic definitely rekindled my interest in writing a novel someday. It also rekindled my interest in reading the first four books of the Dark Tower series. I'll pass on the last three books. They were drivel. 4/5

Everything should taste like bacon?

I think I threw up a little in my mouth when I saw this.

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library. - Jorge Luis Borges

I only read two books this last month.

Dark Prince by David Gemmel. This is the sequel to Lion of Macedon. I was skeptical about it to begin with because my brother told me there was an insane amount of magic in this book. Typically, it seems, Gemmel will put magic into a book and it just becomes another fantasy novel. I'm not looking for him to reinvent fantasy novels, but I wish he would do something different. His books have a formulaic feel that I find annoying if I read too many in a row. It was about Alexander's struggle with the demon that inhabited him in the first book. It was a fairly interesting take on the Alexander mythos. I would recommend this short duology to fantasy fans. I would even recommend it to history buffs. 5/5

V for Vendetta by Alan Moore. This book was just as bad as the movie. It's just a shame that I wasted more time reading it than I did watching it. It was short on story and it was short on character development. I thought that by reading the author's note at the end I would get a clearer idea of what the story was all about. I didn't. It just came across as another British isolationist/fear of isolation story. I'm a bit sick of that story line. A complete waste of time. 1/5

Come ride with me through the veins of history. I'll show you a god who falls asleep on the job.

I've had many abstract thoughts over the past month but I've been far too lazy to write any of them down. I'm sure some would have made decent blog posts. Ah well. Just know that I do have an active mind...and a lazy hand.

Alexa and I have been watching Dexter. She says it's ok and I love it. Nothing is better than a cop who moonlights as a serial killer of the wrongfully innocent.

Piper.

We put my dog down April 6. I still find it hard to bend over and pick food up off the floor. I'm used to a mobile garbage disposal.

The thing that made us finally put her down was that she was having a hard time keeping her balance and her eyes were darting frantically. She was panting heavily. It was just too hard to watch.

I wish I didn't already have another dog (by marriage). I don't know if I can manage putting another loved beast down. Even though Piper was obviously miserable, I can't help but be sad every time I think about her. I just wish she could still be here. I know it's better that she's been put out of her misery and it would be selfish to keep her alive, I can't help but wish she were here. She was uncomfortable but she gave me much comfort. I miss her. Most of what I need to say I have already said in this post.

Trouble. Oh trouble set me free. I have seen your face and it's too much, too much for me.

While playing helper ball I broke my talar dome. I'm not too interested in finding a link for a picture right now. I'm feeling despondent and inconsolable. I'm just unhappy. And no, Ashley, I don't hate helper ball; just my luck.

Magic

This is what HIV looks like. And this. Remind me not to contract it.

They took your children and wife. Cut their throats with a knife.

Here's my monthly book recap.

I got a bunch of graphic novels from the library while Alexa was gone. I figured I had a lot of time on my hands and they're a quick read. And I'm a dork.

Elric: The Making of a Sorcerer. This was just dumb. It's apparently a prequel to Michael Moorcock's Elric series. I'm not interested in the books after reading this graphic novel. It was short on story and the art was pretty crappy. 2/5

Batman: Arkham Asylum. On my first read I didn't care for it. But the edition I got from the library has the entire "script" for the comic with notes by the author. This gave the graphic novel so much more clarity. The illustrations were muddy and hard to understand, so the author's explanation was greatly appreciated. The whole thing is about Batman breaking through his weaknesses and becoming an even bigger badass. The Joker takes over Arkham Asylum and tests Batman by making him face many of the do-badders he helped put there. The entire story is linked to the history of Amadeus Arkham, the builder of the Arkham Asylum. Arkham himself was crazy and killed his own mother. The personality of the building and its history is integral to the story. It was an interesting take on Batman. Until the end he is a scared, weak hero. Just interesting if you like that sort of thing. 4/5

Batman: The Killing Joke. I fully expected this to be the story arc where the second Robin, Jason Todd, is killed by the Joker. It wasn't. I was a bit disappointed. Anyway, the story still had a landmark moment in it. Commissioner Gordon's daughter, Barbara, is shot by the Joker and is paralyzed as a result. She later becomes Oracle, a sidekick to Batman who is able to give him information from the Batcave (I think). The story mainly focuses on Joker's origin story and his quest to break the Commissioner. The Joker's sick sense of humor is full blown in this book. I used to think the Joker was kind of lame, but now that I've seen The Dark Knight and I've read these graphic novels my opinion has changed. He's got great potential and it seems like authors aren't afraid to exploit it. The only thing that was lame about this one was the Joker's origin story. I like the idea of not really having a clear picture of why he is the way he is. Oh well. 4/5

The Brave and the Bold Vol. 1: The Lords of Chaos. This was basically a Justice League of America book, but I guess the Brave and the Bold is a different series. The whole idea of the book is that there is something called the Book of Destiny. In it is the past, present and future. Of course, if this book falls into the wrong hands all is lost. There are some interesting concepts involving time travel and destiny if you are inclined to ponder them. Aside from that the action is fairly decent and the story is compelling. I was certainly wondering how the good guys would win once the bad guys got the book (considering the bad guys will know the good guys every move before the good guys know). 4/5

Justice League of America Vol. 1: The Tornado's Path. Does anyone know who Red Tornado is? I didn't. I was really confused for the first 20 pages of this one. I will admit that I've never been a huge fan of the Justice League, so I guess that would put me at a disadvantage in terms of knowing all of the characters. Anyway, the gist of the plot is that Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman are reassembling the Justice League after it was disbanded. This was a good way to get to know most of the characters because the three big ones explained their powers and qualities. It's hard to explain the plot but I'll give it a try: Red Tornado (a spirit in a robot's body who can shift his spirit from one robot body to the next) shifts his spirit into a real body. Some bad guys (I don't know who they are and I've never heard of them) are trying to get Red Tornado's body so that another immortal can stop being immortal and...I think I lost everyone. I'm lost now. I really liked it, though. Maybe because the plot was so twisted. I don't know. 5/5

Justice League of America Vol. 2: The Injustice League. This plot is a bit easier to follow. Lex Luthor gets together bunch of villains to take out the Justice League. It's basically like watching an episode of Superfriends. I liked the artwork and the story was good enough. There was a time when I doubted the Justice League would win out. 4/5

This is a sketch. (Yes it is.)

I'm not really sure what to blog about anymore. I feel like a lot has happened. Then again, I feel like nothing has happened. (I know I was going to blog about Watchmen, but laziness got in the way and now I don't remember half of what I wanted to say. My review/ponderings will be written here when I see it at the cheapies. I'm not sure when that will be.)

Alexa was gone for a couple of weeks this month and I accomplished little to nothing. I've been subbing fairly consistently. However, nothing of real merit has happened. We've gotten most of the really important wedding stuff out of the way. Now it's on to the little things that will have to either be done over a few weeks (i.e. favors) or right before the wedding. I guess it's nice to be done with some of it. It was definitely starting to weigh me down.

Anyway, that's the update on my life right now. Some more blogs are on the way tonight. Gotta hit my quota. Also, I think the topics are worthy of their own blog. I'm not just stretching them out to hit my quota.

That last sentence was a lie.

Be mine and your innocence I will consume

I watched Cloverfield a few days ago and I was pleasantly surprised by it. I can definitely understand why some would find it unappealing, but I was enthralled once the movie really got going.

The movie starts with a going-away party for one of the main characters. This was the worst part of the movie. It was slow and superfluous. The 15 minutes or so of exposition could, and should, have been cut in half. The only good part of it is getting to know the person whose point of view we see the movie from. He is tasked with "documenting" the party and ends up documenting the entire ordeal. This character, Hud, was definitely good for comic relief. At the most tension-filled moments he was good for a laugh. This may be annoying to some but I found it to be rather realistic. Some people talk and make jokes when feeling stressed. No big deal.

One thing I didn't like was how Hud just kept carrying the camera around. He even managed to hold onto it while being attacked by these weird parasite things. I would have dropped the damn thing and not looked back. Anyway, constant vigilance with the camera=not too realistic. Then again the movie is about a giant monster demolishing Manhattan.

In some reviews I read about the camera style turning people away (and making them sick in the process). Typically I hate herky-jerky filming (see: Traffic, The Bourne Supremacy (Matt Damon)) but it worked for me this time. Not seeing the monster made it much scarier. All the viewer can see is the destruction it's leaving in its wake. And, boy, is there destruction. The only time you truly see the monster is when it's being annihilated near the end and, even then, it's not completely clear.

There is no clear explanation of what "it" is. This would normally have frustrated the bejeezus out of me but, again, it worked. This time I love not knowing more than the characters. Most monster movies have horribly cheesy explanations for the monsters existence and reason for its rampage. This movie didn't bother with that. Thank God.

The more I reflect on this movie, the more I like it. I wouldn't recommend it for everyone, but some may enjoy it.

February book

I was only able to finish one book this month. It was Lion of Macedon by David Gemmell. I've read most of his books and I find them to be a little to formulaic. They usually have one hero who saves the day while losing his life. Also, they're always far too heavy on magic. I feel like magic is usually a cop-out in fantasy books. It's fine if it's done well, but far too often I find it's not. In some of his books the magic is just too bleah. This novel didn't have a whole lot of magic in it though. It was definitely well done.

The story is about the beginning of the life of Alexander the Great. It starts by following the life of Parmenion, the person who becomes Alexander's greatest general in the sequel. This book focuses on Parmenion's life growing up as a half-Spartan, half-Macedonian in Sparta. He is spurned by the Spartans for his mix-blood heritage, which hardens him into the warrior he will later become. The rest of the book follows his path to destroying the strength of Sparta. While doing this he meets Philip, the future king and "father" of Alexander. Parmenion is a great mercenary general who fights battles for the Persian satraps and, later, Philip. The book takes a turn from history when it is revealed that Parmenion is the actual father of Alexander, hinting at the future military brilliance of Alexander.

There is a lot more to the book but I don't want to give it all away. 5/5

Pong pros

I am currently undefeated at beer pong when playing with my older brother. I think I'm like 5-0 or something. It may not sound impressive, but I'm sure the number will go up.

Apparently there is supposed to be some sort of Beer Olympics this summer, so there could be some more Korpal domination. We can never seem to win until both sides have one cup left. It would appear, though, that intoxication does not make for worse aim for us. We're just good.

My strategy is to call on NBA greats from the past and present. Many times I have called on Kobe, Lebron and Shaq. Usually it's the more gritty, less-superstarry players like Mahorn, Darko and Laimbeer that come through. Don't steal my strategy.

Moving on up. To the East Side. Really.

Weezy! Alexa and I decided on a place to live for the next six months. Or, for her to live for the next six months and for me to move to in May.

It's actually in Belleville, a place I have often ridiculed for its slightly more hillbilly aspects. Belleville is not a place I would have ever seen myself living. It's really right on the border between the east side of Ypsi and Belleville, so I would almost argue it's more Ypsi than Belleville. For some reason I've always had a disdain for Belleville. Call me critical.

Anyway, we both really liked it for a couple of reasons: 1. It's fairly inexpensive. It's about $150 dollars cheaper per month than all of the other places we looked. 2. It's pretty damn big. It's about 850 square feet and considering we have little to no furniture it will feel pretty spacious.

We'll be moving March 2 which is coming up pretty fast. We definitely didn't look as early as we should have, but I think we're ending up in a pretty good place. Some friends of ours used to live there and they said it was a pretty good place to live and that the management is pretty great.

Our apartment will be overlooking a nice area of green, which will be perfect for Lucy to walk around and explore. It will definitely be good for Alexa to get out of her house and have a place of her own. (I'm sure she'll blog about that, though.)

One downside, and not a particuarly big one, is that we don't know anyone currently residing there. A few of the places we looked were being considered quite heavily because we knew people living there. It's nice to be able to hang out with people without having to travel.

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book

As I was subbing at Ypsi High the other day I realized just how much I used to read in school. It comes as no surprise that I was able to read almost every Stephen King book, a whole bunch of Goosebumps books (don't judge me), a ten-book series in the Star Wars universe and other random books (a few by Barbara Kingsolver and others that Alexa recommended).

I think I read roughly 20 hours a week in school alone (none of it school-related). I can say, however, that I never read a whole book that was assigned to me. I should be ashamed, but I'm not. This doesn't include how much reading I did outside of school, which was a considerable amount. I even had a lot of time to spend with friends and do stupid things (i.e. make movies, play hockey and just other things people do in high school).

I'm a little depressed about how much less I'm reading now. All the time I spent in school reading is now spent working (of course, subbing allows for a lot of reading time). In the six years since graduating from high school most of it has been spent working, doing school work or hanging out with Alexa and other friends. I often skip out on hanging out with people to catch up on some reading.

I'm hoping that I can start reading more. I have ambitions to read a lot more books in the coming years. I just hope I can find the time to do it.

Black Holes and Revelations

I happily discovered a new band a few weeks ago. I admit that I've become pretty much obsessed with them. I think it's because I can actually play a few of their songs on the bass and they're a pretty bass-heavy band. I'd say the bass guitar is almost a lead instrument and I love it.

The band is Muse. I first heard them on the Watchmen preview (#2). At first I thought it was Radiohead. Then I looked it up and it turned out to be Muse.

I've been listening to Black Holes and Revelations on heavy rotation for the last week. I'm almost afraid I'll wear the CD out. If anyone knows about these guys let me know how you feel about them.

Is Obama for sale?

I subbed for Liz last Tuesday and a funny thing happened at the morning meeting.

One kid threw out the topic:

BP: If money wasn't an issue and you could buy anything what would it be?

MN: I would buy the U.S.

Me: It has to be for sale.

MN: OK. I'd buy the president.

Me: That's a pretty bold statement. Is the president that corrupt?

Who watches the watchmen?, or Why would I save a world I no longer have any stake in?

So, here I am stealing an idea for a blog post. Ashley had a post where she commented about the books she read in the last month. I thought it was a great idea so I'm stealing it.

Unfortunately I only read two books this month. Not only did the trip to Sioux Falls crimp my reading schedule (no complaints), but while I was gone I received two editions of the Sporting News. I had a lot of catching up to do.

While I was gone I finished reading Watchmen. Holy cow. That book fulfilled everything I wanted it to. If you're looking for some superhero story with a happy ending this is not the book for you. I really loved that the good guys didn't win in the end. And frankly, it never seemed like they would. It was a downer story on par with 1984. I loved it. I'm sick of reading stories where the main character always win. I'm sure there are many novels out there that have the main character losing in the end, I just don't know what they are. 5/5

On a side note: I believe The Dark Knight would have been a much better movie if both of the ferries had been blown up. I don't care who does it, I just wanted to see them both explode. It would have pushed Batman to the absolute extreme edge. The Joker would have won and it would have set up the third movie so well. I also think that if the main character is plunged to the brink it makes his/her ascension that much more meaningful.

The other book I read this month was called The Age of the Gladiators. It was a bit boring. It is a nonfiction history book about Rome during the time of the gladiators. Typically I'm extremely interested in this subject. This book just had too many things wrong with it. The author often repeated himself, sometimes many times in the same chapter. I felt like he must have thought the people reading it were extremely stupid. Also, I felt like there were about 125 missing commas (no hyperbole). It was a bit difficult to read. That's the only reason I wouldn't recommend it. It was definitely full of some pretty interesting information, though. 3/5

Burrito supreme and a chicken supreme and a Cutlass Supreme

When you own a business that is part of a franchise you can do what you want but you must have certain things that are dictated by the company. For example, Subway is a franchise. In South Dakota they have breakfast subs. And they're cheaper than normal subs. Vegetarians can have egg on their vegetarian subs and it's cheaper than getting a vegetarian sub in the afternoon. What a deal. Also, in Chicago and South Dakota they don't have Italian dressing. Instead, they have vinegar and oil. I've also noticed in Chicago that they have fewer options for dressings. This is not a knock on Subways in Chicago. In South Dakota they have shredded cheese. This, according to Aaron, is a better deal because they give you more. They also have cheddar and pepper jack cheese. I'm sure there is a Subway in Michigan that has these cheeses, or more, but it's just something I've noticed comparing Ypsi/Ann Arbor Subways to the few I've visited in other states. They have Pibb Xtra, but that's just a regional thing. (Side note: Mr. Pibb is owned by Coca-Cola. Dr. Pepper is its own solo company. I like Dr. Pepper more.)

Putt-Putt was the same way. Not every Putt-Putt had an arcade room like the one in Ypsi. However, as I understand it, Putt-Putt owners have to pay dues for things like Putt-Putt brand cups to serve pop (or soda in other regions). Sometimes franchising is pretty cool because it's not the same thing everywhere (one thing that bothers me about American cultural expansion), but it can also kind of suck because I really like Italian dressing on my subs.

Burrito supreme.